I found this video on God Tube today and thought that I should post it. I often wonder about Emma and now Ryan's biological mother. Espically during the Holidays and their birthdays. I wonder how they are doing and wish that they knew that was a family who loves thier child. As an adpotive mother you are happy for all your child's milestones and in any mother and yet your heart breaks for the women who is missing that milestone. I know that Emma and Ryan's mother had to love them. That it had to be hardest decision that they ever made to give up their child. I wish that somehow I could find them and tell them about the wonderful gift they gave our family.

Hurry Up China

Well before Thanksgiving we called our agency and asked if they had heard any word on our PA for Ryan. They said they hadn't and if they don't hear anything this week they will call China. I want to know already. I want those majic words. "You are approved for Dang Yue". I don't honsetly beleive that China would come back and say NO. We are praying and hoping that we get an answer soon. We feel that this is the little boy for our family. We feel that God has led us to him. We just wish they would HURRY!!! So for the mean time. I guess no news is good news. I found the following poem on another mother's site and thought I should share it.

My waiting child
I was not there the first time you laughed. I missed the first bottle, I missed the first bath. I did not witness your first steps. You’re growing so big without me. I hope I will be there to teach you to trust. You'll learn to speak my mother tongue. You won't be adopted when you're young, but you'll know the love of a family. God has not forgotten every tear you have cried alone, my waiting child. And I have not forgotten that you are there. My days would be empty without you. Amy Heymann

Kisses In The Wind

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams. You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems. I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long. But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong. Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin... Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind. May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you. I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do. Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend. But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind. May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight. And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night. --- Unknown

This weekend we attended a fall carnival and pumkin patch with our freinds from our China Moms of Kingwood play group. Emma had a blast!! Yet, while I was enjoying Emma play with her friends I couldn't help but feel someone was missing. I am thinking alot about him lately. I wonder what he would think of pumpkins, costumes and candy. What would he want to dress up as? A dinosaur, a cowboy, doctor? Who knows! Would he a quite a spirit or rough a tumble boy?? As we left with all three girls in one wagon, another mother said "You know next year we will need two wagons". Abiigal's mommy and daddy are awating approval for her Mei Mei Kaylyn to come home from China as well. So pretty soon there will be two new members to the "three muskteers". My heart just warmed at the thought of Ryan being home. I can't wait to get to know him!!

Thoughts About Ryan

Today I have been thinking a lot about Ryan. A family who is adopting a little girl from the same orphange where Ryan is from our in China becoming a family. This family also has an older daughter and so they bring thoughts of how our family will change once Ryan is home. Same days I am totally ready to get on an plane today and bring him home. Other's I think about how our family is going to change so dramticlly. The one the constant question I have is "What is he like?" I guess I had the same questions on my heart when we were waiting on Emma and yet here I am again. God has so wonderfully provided us with Emma. She is such a joy to our hearts that I know Ryan will be too. I can't wait to meet him, see his smiling face and hear his laugh for the first time. I feel as if he is here in our hearts already!! I just wish China would hurry up and send our LOA already.

It's A Boy!!

Well never in a millon years did I think that Jeff and I would began this adventure so soon after brining Emma home. I know that it has been a year and that is a while but it still seems like yesterday that we become a family. Emma is such an awesome joy to us that we felt our family needed .....drum roll please......A BOY!! Ryan Scott Yue to be exact. His Chinese name is Dang Yue and he is in Hebei provience. We are soo excited to become his family. I will keep everyone updated on how our progess is going. Right now we are awaiting LOA (letter of acceptance) from China. This letter is the offical "OK" for us to adopt him. So for now we paper chase (AGAIN) and wait...